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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 18.06.2025 12:01

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Why do we often have strong feelings for our twin flames, even if they don't feel the same way? Is there a way to make them realize their true feelings for us?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

If you cloned 12 Michael Jordan's and 12 LeBron James' and had Team Jordan vs. James, which team would win the most games?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Why am I totally different than others? Why do I have a problem with my basic knowledge about society and reality? Why am I dumb and stupid?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.